Kids
Science Exam Answers
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Here are some great answers from
gradeschool science exams. Some of these are completely hilarious.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt,
pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes
by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes
water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like
grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning
sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the
oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All
water moves towards the moon, because there is no water on
the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun
joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A:
Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens
to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels
and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when
he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and
looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated
with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts
of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted
into three parts - the brainium, the borax, and the abdominal
cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains
the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the
five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A big fat lie.
Q: What does "varicose"
mean?
A: Nearby.
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